This morning I escorted my humans on a very important walk report. We found one wet patch with complicated news, three sparrows acting busy on purpose, and a driveway smell that clearly required a full zigzag investigation. My humans kept saying, “This way, Max,” which was not helpful because I was already following the evidence.
Back home I performed a complete ball basket audit. The blue squeaky was acceptable, the tennis ball was under review, and one fuzzy toy had to be carried room to room for additional testing. Oski tried to join the inspection by standing on my route and blinking at me like a sleepy little assistant manager. I explained the procedure with two fast spins and a snort. He did not absorb the training.
Later I won an impressive sit-stay during snack negotiations and was paid one treat, which was mathematically incorrect for the level of professionalism shown. Then I heard a mysterious staircase tick and issued an immediate household alert. My humans said, “It’s just the house,” as if the house has never done suspicious things before.
After all that leadership, I took a long curly nap with one ear on duty. If anyone needs me, I will be resting bravely until dinner patrol begins.
